Here I sit and I should be content.. I am married have two children of my own and a step daughter who has turned out pretty brilliant and beautiful... so why am I gloomy... I need to find a kindred spirit , someone who can look at me and know the contents of my mind, know when I hurt and come to soothe me, know when I am sad and tries with all his might to cheer me up... , someone who is the very core of my being when I can't stop smiling.. You would think that should be the one with whom I vowed to spend every waking morning with... but , alas, it is not... There has been no real connection between the two of us from the beginning.. but I guess it doesn't really matter when you are young and feeling like the whole world is against you.. I ran to the first person who showed the least bit of real interest in me.. my way out of hell ... but little did I know that I had opened the very door into hell.. to feel the worst hurt, that I have ever felt in my life.. However many ways there are to hurt someone .. he did them all.. and then some ... When people meet him, they have no idea of the amount of hurt that he is capable of inflicting on a person.. He wears his own mask for times like these... and everyone just loves the masked man... but if they only knew what really hid behind those deceiving eyes.. they would run faster than ever ... I want to run but where to and with who... I need arms around me that don't feel like they just "have" to be there but WANT to be there.. I need to feel true love before I lose all ability to feel at all ...